Rough morning. Monday mornings are always hard for Princess. And then there was this:
She had a friend sleep over Saturday night (Shy Friend.) Her mom was supposed to pick her up at 9 a.m. At 3 p.m. we hadn't heard from her and calls to her (as well as her aunt) just went to voice mail. I drove her to her house and her mom was there. I just dropped her off because I was too upset to deal with her mom without seeming totally mental (I'm such a crier when my emotions are strong.)
So guess what? That totally jacked up my kid. Her friend's mom didn't pick her up. Didn't even call. This is her biggest fear. She was emotional and clingy the whole rest of the night.
And it carried over into this morning. That combined with clasic Monday-itus and not feeling well because the school is infested with cockroaches, which has triggered a big allergic reaction, and it was a rough morning.
BFF's mom came to get her anyway and in trying to help, made things way worse. She told Princess to get ready because she was running BFF and the other girl she takes in the mornings to school and coming back to get her.
This triggered Princess's PTSD in a major way. As soon as BFF's mom was out of the door, she panicked. She was absolutely terrified. "HURRY, MOMMA!!! HURRY!!!! WE HAVE TO GO BEFORE SHE GETS BACK!!!!"
Something switched in her. It wasn't BFF's mom anymore. It wasn't about getting her to school. She truly thought someone was on their way to take her away from me.
It was heart breaking.
For those of you who think I'm not not firm enough with her and that I baby her too much on this school thing, I say screw that this morning. I will continue doing my best to get her to school these next 11 days and will regroup over the summer and try to figure out some new tools for helping her cope, but her emotional needs always come first. Yes, she needs to learn to power through her anxiety. She's not going to learn that when she's in fight-or-flight mode, though. Impossible.
She was convinced someone was coming to rip her out of my arms and was screaming that we needed to leave, to run. So we got in the car and drove around the block. I called BFF's mom and told her what was happening. She came back so she could explain to Princess that she was only trying to help and would never keep her way from me and didn't mean to scare her.
Princess and I went inside for a big snuggle. We both calmed down. I drove her to school.
11 more days.
She has an IEP and the school is very aware of her insomnia and anxiety, as well as her struggles getting to school. They are working with her on staying on top of her work. I'm not worried about school. I'm not worried about academics.
My focus is on her emotional health.
But for now, I'm going to focus on the view from up here instead because it makes me giggle and giggling is good for the soul: